100 Ways To Fall In Love
by Lina Trinch
Summary: A hundred drabbles and oneshots surrounding Balthazar and Lucifer. A hundred first meetings, falling outs, lust filled nights, and everything else to celebrate the love between them.
1. Dance

**Okay, so I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do with my other Balcifer fic (Eta Carinae Nebula). I know where it's going to go and how to get there, I just don't know if it'll all be well received and, therefore, if it's worth writing. So, I decided to do a 100 prompt challenge to keep my skills up and running and keep you guys satiated somewhat.**

 **Originally, I was going to make every prompt tie in to the chapter before it to create one super long (probably terrible) story, but as we're a starving breed with this ship, I decided to do a bunch of oneshots with a bunch of AU's and a bunch of genres. Some will be short, some will be long, some will be TOO LONG, and I doubt they'll be updated daily. Anyway, I hope you folks like it. I think I definitely will.**

 **In every chap, I'll give a bit of a heads up as to what pond we're currently swimming in. This one is going to be a high school AU. I typically don't care much for those, but I already did a bar scene so here we go. Enjoy!**

* * *

Lu, thankful that Gabriel finally turned eighteen so that he could get the smokes for a change, took a long drag before breathing the wisps back into the dark air. The last place he ever expected to find himself was the Homecoming dance, but the prospect of getting out of the house, away from his drunk dad and quiet mom, was far too alluring to pass up. Michael, his older brother by a year, was here as well, but nowhere near them, thank God. The asshole had other obligations what with obviously being Homecoming King and all.

The party was still going strong in the gym and dusk had just recently settled in. Lu stuck around long enough to look at the decorations and sample the punch before he wondered outside to find someone who wasn't completely lame. That's where he found Gabe.

They sat side by side on the hood of Gabe Speight's beaten up sedan, the younger one chuckling under his breath. "I can't believe you came out tonight," he said for the second time since they ran into each other. "And look at you. All dressed up. You sure you aren't here chasing a crush, Lucy?"

It was true enough that he had dressed up for the evening for two primary reasons. One being he was a little nervous that staff would kick him out of the party if he showed up in jeans and a ratty shirt. The other being he just wanted to dress up for something. Homecoming was a good enough excuse. He wore black slacks, shiny black shoes he stole- _borrowed_ from Michael's closet, a white button up shirt and a black blazer over that, also _borrowed_ from Mike. His hair, though, was as unruly as usual, not that he cared in the least.

"Just wanted to get out, man," Lu mumbled, leaning back against the windshield. "Mom looked shocked and asked where I was _really_ going. I'm gonna be the new star child when we all get home and Mike says I really did come out here."

"Well, I'm terribly proud of ya," Gabe laughed again, crossing his legs beneath himself and taking another drag, "I've got beer in the back seat if you want one."

Lu narrowed his eyes. "Where'd you get that, goody two shoes?" True, Gabriel smoked, but that was the end of his reckless binge, and even that he was trying to quit.

Gabriel shrugged. "Ray bought it for me. Told me to not drive drunk and have fun. Between you and me, I think he's trying to get me laid."

Lu smiled at the mention of Raphael, Gabriel's eldest brother who had just gotten back from his stint overseas. "He trusts you more than I would. I guess that means you're going to take this party somewhere else, though?"

The younger one shrugged again, wiping his pants leg of fallen ashes. "Maybe after a few dances, but I don't know where. It'll probably end up being a bunch of us. Sam's riding with his brother and I haven't seen Cas around. They might all be carpooling together."

"Well, if it's a party, count me in," Lu smiled with a nod, "but I'll agree that you and Sam could use some alone time."

"Shut up," Gabriel laughed, halfheartedly pushing a hand against Lu's ribs.

It was at that moment when Dean Winchester's ridiculously loud and ancient Impala, turned the curve and made a beeline for the two of them in the parking lot. Gabriel took one last inhale of his cigarette before flicking it to the gravel, all while Lu watched. "You're quitting for _him_ , aren't you?"

"He doesn't like the smoke," Gabe answered as the car parked in the empty space across from them, and people began piling out of the car.

Sam was the first one to jump out, climbing from the passenger seat before heading straight for them. Or more pointedly, for Gabriel. The height difference between the pair was something Lu found hilarious and secretly adorable, especially with the way his friend would try to make himself seem bigger sometimes just because he wanted to. As such, Gabe stayed seated on the car as his freakishly tall boyfriend approached him. With arms already outstretched, Sam placed his hands on each of his boyfriend's knees and stole a quick kiss.

Gabriel smirked as they pulled apart. "Sorry. Had one before you showed up."

"I know," Sam smiled wide. "It's all right. You're trying."

The way they looked at each other, smiling like that, made Lu roll his eyes and look away. He tried as often as he could to show that he didn't approve of their lovey dovey dopey looks, cracking jokes to show his discomfort, but it was more jealousy than anything else. No, he didn't want Gabriel or Sam, not really, but it would be nice to have someone look at him like that, too.

On second thought, maybe going out with two couples wouldn't be a good idea.

"God, you were right." The new voice, one he hadn't heard before, one heavily accented in something almost British but not quite, made Lu look back to the rest of the group approaching them. Dean and Castiel had their arms interlinked with one another, which seemed to be the usual way they were attached lately if not by the lips or tongues, but there was someone else that Lu had never seen before hovering next to Cas' other side, grimacing at Gabriel and Sam. "I'm getting cavities as we speak."

He definitely didn't go to their school, so one of them must have bought him a guest pass of some sort. Not that those thoughts were bouncing around Lu's head at moment. All he could see where the bright blue eyes turning and zeroing in on him, and he suddenly felt completely naked in front of this stranger. A part of him didn't like it- didn't _want_ to like it, but there was something about the way his eyes fell on his.

"This is Lu." The one mentioned finally blinked, breaking the spell on them both, before turning his attention to whoever was speaking. It seemed to be Cas, who nodded to the cuddling couple. "And that's Gabriel, as I'm sure you've guessed." The stranger didn't look to Gabe. His eyes stayed on Lu, as if he weren't hearing Cas' words at all. "Lu, this is Balthazar, my cousin."

The stranger, Balthazar, gave him a dark smirk. "Hey."

He tried to swallow, to no avail. "Hi." Lu did manage to lick his lips, though, but immediately regretted it when Balthazar glanced down to his tongue. On that note, Lu finally straightened up, clearing his throat, belatedly remembering the cigarette dangling between his fingers.

Gabriel whispered something to Sam that made the taller one give a faint laugh, and Lu tried hard to ignore how utterly obvious he was being.

Thankfully, Dean and Cas both seemed terribly oblivious to most things in front of their face, but the eldest Winchester did shiver without his letterman jacket that was currently draped over Castiel's shoulder. "You two aren't cold? What are you doing out here?"

"Being rebels," Gabriel smirked with a smile that seemed to laugh back at him.

Cas ignored him and just looked worriedly to his boyfriend. "You can have your jacket back-"

"No way," Dean wrapped his arm around Cas' waist. "Let's just go inside. Maybe they have snacks or something, too."

As the first pair walked off, Gabriel hopped off of the hood, pulling Sam's arm over his shoulders as they began to follow after them. Lu, still frozen, was quite shocked to find Balthazar pause near his side of the vehicle. "Did you come alone?"

That accent. That accent was going to eat him alive. "Uh, yeah." He cleared his throat again and shrugged, "Wanted to get out of the house for awhile, y'know?"

Balthazar smirked again, making Lu internally curse him for it. "Well, since you bothered to come out, why not a dance?"

Really, it was embarrassing how fast he scrambled off of the car.

* * *

About an hour later, part way into their fifth or sixth dance (Lu had happily lost count), Balthazar kissed him. It wasn't anything chaste either. It was all tongue and want that made his knees want to buckle. After a mere two seconds, the blonde broke away with a big smile. "I'm sorry," he laughed, putting a hand to his mouth, "I forget where we are."

In the last hour, Lu had learned little tidbits about the mysterious Balthazar. Yes, he liked guys. No, he didn't live around here. Yes, he was visiting family from _across the pond_. No, he had never seen Parliament and Big Ben. Yes, he _was_ French and, yes, impressed that Lu could tell. No, he hadn't seen the Eiffel Tower either. Oui, il parler français si demandé. Balthazar had a thing for comic books and late night rom-coms. He had seen Rocky Horror just once four Halloweens ago and was interested in catching it again someday. When he was home, he worked for his uncle in a live action theater, but only ever as a stage hand. He was home schooled, but close to graduation and planned to attend some fancy smancy college in Paris sometime next year. He wanted nothing more than to finally watch Doctor Who and Star Trek: The Next Generation. He was by no means a virgin, but never really had a romantic fling either. He didn't smoke, seldom drank, and hadn't even seen any sort of drugs in his life. Never been in a fight either. His passion for Journey and Lady Gaga knew no bounds. He hated Celine Dion and never desired to step foot in Canada, for some reason. His favorite play was Macbeth. His favorite superhero was The Green Lantern. His favorite color was blue, light, like clear sea water.

It had been an _hour_.

Lu laughed with him, heartily and happily, glancing over to where a couple of the teachers stood. They still seemed pretty oblivious. "I think we're in the clear," he laughed, "but if you keep doing that we might have to take it somewhere else."

"Let them watch. To hell with them." Balthazar, with a big smile, pulled Lu closer by the sleeves until they were against each other, then the blonde's arms snaked around his back, holding him in place.

Lu just smiled from the close proximity, so high right now that he couldn't be bothered with wondering if this energy between them was a sexual one or something else entirely. "Says you. I have to live with them." That made the other laugh again, and it was out of Lu's mouth before he could stop it. "How long are you here for?"

Balthazar's smile never dimmed, but his eyes seemed to, if only slightly. His voice, however, was a lot less bright than a moment ago. "I was to stay a month, but I'm going back in two days."

The music turned into a dull roar and Lu's heart fell to the floor. It had only been an hour, though. He told himself that he was stupid, it didn't hurt, this was fine and he was weird for thinking he was attached so quickly, and his lips pulled back up into a grin. "Well, in that case," he gripped at Balthazar's shirt, "maybe I still have time to show you around."

Before he could firmly grasp the situation at hand, the blonde kissed him again in something much slower but still more than wanting. It didn't matter that he was leaving soon. He was here now. Who the fuck cared about anything else? They were young and stupid and Balthazar would be a happy memory by this time next week. It didn't matter.

When they pulled away from each other, it was all too soon again. The blonde's laugh had come back, this time almost giddy and delirious. "I'd like that."

With a smirk and a few coaxed words, Lu led him from the dance floor, from the gym, and eventually out into the parking lot where they landed in the backseat of his car. It didn't matter, he told himself as Balthazar undressed him, smooth hands gliding against his ribs, rough lips tracing down his chest. It was just flirting, just sex. It didn't _mean_ anything.

It had only been an hour.

* * *

"Lu?"

It was three days after Homecoming. Three days after he and Balthazar had their _first_ getaway. They had been inseparable the following days, somehow only fucking three more times. The rest of the time had consisted of a lot of talking and TV watching and driving around town and literally doing anything that meant it would last a little longer. They even spent the last night together, finally saying goodbye that morning. No one got emotional or upset or teared up or any of that. I didn't mean anything.

"Is this about Balthazar?"

Lu turned his glare on Gabriel, who had been trying and failing to get his full and undivided attention for the last ten minutes. Gabe didn't make any move to shy away, but merely stayed put as he watched his friend with worry.

They sat on the curb in front of Lu's house, the same place Gabriel had found him when he drove pass earlier. But the concern the brunette kept giving him was the most annoying thing in the world somehow. He wasn't brooding or emotional or anything. He couldn't just- just... _exist_ without someone being weirded out? Or maybe Gabe was right to be worried. But Lu didn't _feel_ anything for Balthazar. It wasn't like that. Whatever he did feel, that crushing feeling deep in his chest that refused to go away, had nothing to do with him.

He ignored the question and looked back out to the street, taking a drag of his fifth cigarette that morning.

Gabriel took the hint, dropping his gaze to their shoes and straightening up to look in the same direction as his friend. They stayed that way for just a beat until he said, "A few of us were going out for a movie later. You wanna go? We'll probably get food."

"Nah, man," Lu exhaled, the smoke floating around his head as he spoke. He blew out a stream, watching it glide to the sky. "Gotta work on an essay."

Slowly, Gabe nodded, seeing the obvious and blatant lie in the excuse. "Well... If you-"

" _Lucifer!_ "

Hearing his father's summons, Lu stubbed his cigarette out on the concrete and stood, not looking back or offering a word to Gabriel as he went back into the house.

* * *

 **Well, good job, me. I accidentally made this sad.**

 **As I continue, I may revisit previous one shots and make sequels or even prequels for them, so watch out for that. This is going to be fun, guys! You'll see! Fun!**


	2. Treat

**I'm gonna try to write more on Eta Carinae Nebula, guys. I promise. For now, enjoy this little tidbit. The prompt is Treat! As for the AU, you'll figure it out.**

 **By the way, if anyone wants to take some of these AU ideas and run with them, be my guest. We need more fics.**

* * *

Balthazar seldom went out to bars on nights like this. Gabriel invited him out for the Superbowl, then the Fourth of July, then Halloween, and finally the blonde agreed to go and see what all the fuss was about. New Years' Eve had the Wolves' Den jumping like he had never seen before.

Not to say he didn't get out. Balthazar did and quite often, as a matter of fact. He just didn't like _crowds_. Yet, somehow he found himself enjoying the atmosphere. Music thumped from the dance floor, colored lights streamed everywhere, and at least three quarters of the people around them had little masks on detailing the year to come in case some poor sob had gotten drunk enough to forget. Which seemed to be the exact road Balthazar was headed down right now, actually.

Gabriel was laughing, already there, as he ordered another round for them both. While Balthazar was the only one that came out with him, Speight didn't lack friends. Everyone seemed to know him. "'Nother on me, Bobby!"

The gruff older man came back up to him from behind the bar, not looking to be in the holiday spirit too much. "You keep screaming that, Gabe, and I really will put it on ya," he huffed humorously as he poured them both more Jack. "Loosened up yet, Balthazar?"

"Somewhat," the blonde laughed in response while Gabe downed his drink in a heartbeat. "This is fun, though. Perhaps you can point out the single ones?"

"Yeah," Bobby sighed, turning to another customer, "You've loosened up."

Gabriel hit him on the arm and leaned closer. "We got twenty minutes left before midnight! Unless you wanna kiss me, we gotta find some tail."

Finding someone to kiss in twenty minutes wouldn't be terribly hard in this crowd, Balthazar figured. They were basically shoulder to shoulder, people bumping into him at any given interval. His back was constantly being prodded by people ordering drinks, and the jackass on the opposite side of his friend seemed inclined to get in his lap for all the pushing against him that man's done. But he didn't mind. Somehow. It was all kind of fun. Just part of the experience. With warm bodies everywhere, everyone in an excited mood, finding someone to kiss would be stupidly easy. "I love you Gabriel, but not that much," Balthazar spoke, looking around the bar. "How about the dance-"

The man next to him, the one who had been edging closer to him the whole night, wrapped an arm around Balthazar's neck, pulling him close and not even looking at him. The man twisted them both around to face a surly looking woman on the stool next the mystery man. "Here," the guy announced, "We're engaged."

Balthazar blinked, trying to process what the fuck just happened, wondering if he should shove the guy off or something.

The woman blinked back at him, annoyed, then glanced up to the man. "You're gay now?"

The man finally looked at who he snagged under his arm then back to the woman. "Yes."

Oh, Jesus H. Christ. For real? He couldn't tell the damn woman to sod off? He had to rope a stranger into an elaborate lie? This guy was nuts... but that explained why he was edging towards Balthazar the whole night. He was trying to get _away_ from the woman. Perhaps he knew her. She glared at him like they knew each other.

Balthazar glanced up to him and decided to hell with it. "Bi, actually," he smirked, putting his arm across the man's tense shoulders. On second thought, this might even be fun. Surely, Gabriel was getting a laugh out of it if nothing else.

The woman, not entirely convinced, glared between the two of them before her eyes zeroed in on Balthazar. "What's his name?" she nodded to the mystery man.

Very good question. Such a good question, in fact, that the man's fingers twitched. Balthazar decided to summon up his one year of theater in high school and scowled. "What the hell is _your_ name, honey, and why exactly are you bothering _my_ boyfriend? Go bark up another tree, sweetheart."

Her face turned red and her jaw set a little tighter, but she looked unperturbed. The woman looked back to the man. "You really expect me to believe this, Lucifer?"

Okay, Balthazar didn't have to act anymore. He stood from his seat, letting the man's arm go around his waist. "Take a _hint_ , woman. He's not interested. Carry yourself."

That served to make her a bit angrier, but instead of biting back again, she stood and began walking towards the tables. Balthazar watched her, even as she glanced back to them with a snarl a couple of times, but eventually took his seat again, the man under his arm deflating quite a bit. "Who in hell's name was that harpy?"

"Eve," the mystery man answered, "She's an ex from like three years ago, but the woman's crazy." Balthazar was about to make an agreeable comment, when the man continued. "Look, thank you _so_ much. She literally doesn't know what _no_ means, so thank you. Let me buy you a drink."

Gabriel barked a laugh from behind them. "Are you kidding? The comedy gold is plenty payment for that!"

The man looked pretty embarrassed over it, but his attention on Gabriel gave Balthazar the chance to study him for a second. Dark blonde hair, striking blue eyes under small glasses, firm jaw, lean build- No wonder she was obsessed. He was a marvel to look at it. "It's fine," Balthazar laughed, waving to the offer, "I'm happy I could help at least." Happy he could pretend to be with someone who looked that good for a hot second, damn. The thought of wrapping _him_ up for that midnight kiss crossed his mind, but it seemed pretty obvious by the earlier exchange that he was nothing but straight. A shame, really. "I'm Balthazar, in case she asks who you're marrying."

The man chuckled and shook the offered hand. "You caught my name. Most people call me Lu, though." So that was his real name then?

"Um," Gabriel hid behind Balthazar's back, trying to casually look over the blonde's shoulder, "Not to break up the blind date, but she's staring right over here." Lu frowned but didn't look. Neither did Balthazar, opting to take his friend's word on it and hoping she didn't see them shake hands during the introduction. "Should we take this somewhere else or get the wedding bells going?"

Balthazar risked a glance and, sure enough, spied the bitch glaring a hole in his head. He smirked back and stood up, offering a hand to a very apologetic Lu. "I was just about to snatch someone up for a dance, if you're willing."

The strawberry blonde actually smiled to the notion and took his hand. "I could stand to blow off some steam anyway."

"Keep it PG, you two," Gabriel smirked from his place at the bar, hailing Bobby for another drink.

Balthazar pulled Lu up from his seat and began to weave through the crowd, making space for the two of them to get to the ridiculously dense dance floor. But that would be ideal, actually. For once, Balthazar appreciated the flood of people. Less chance for _Eve_ to see the two of them. The crowd finally dispersed a bit once they were on the dance floor, and Balthazar led them to a spot away from the speakers. He grinned and turned back around to his partner in crime, noticing his grin as well before embracing him for their dance.

Still, he didn't want to make this too awkward for the poor man. It was true enough that Balthazar swung many ways when it came to relationships, but he was still fairly sure Lu wouldn't be into a mating display. For appearance's sake, though, he pulled him close so they could speak. "Did you come here alone?"

Lu shook his head. "I'm here with my brother." Balthazar could feel the smile against his cheek. "Lost track of him a while ago, though."

Well that wasn't good. "You have a phone, yeah?"

"Yeah," he laughed, "I just got preoccupied with Eve, then you..."

Balthazar nodded. "I take it this isn't your first time here, though."

"I somehow doubt it's not yours either."

Curse this man for being straight. The blonde smirked. "No, but I don't typically come out for parties like this."

The other man laughed against him again, a far too wonderful sound. "It's my first time coming out here for New Year's, too. We were actually going to hit a couple of other places tonight, not the least of which is IHOP."

Balthazar's smile just grew. This man was too much. "Then I wouldn't worry much about your ex, then."

"This is the first time I've seen her in over a year! Trust me, I don't worry about her."

Somewhere, someone started screaming and more yells of joy and cheer joined the chorus as the music slowed to a stop. A little confused, Balthazar peeled off of his impromptu date and looked around the crowd, just as everyone started chanting, _"Ten! Nine! Eight!"_ He glanced towards Eve's general direction, quickly finding her with arm's crossed and a smile playing on her lips. Oh, right.

" _Seven!"_

Balthazar blinked at her and looked back down to Lu. "What's the whole deal about kissing on New Year's anyway?"

"Luck, I think?" the other answered best he could, glancing around the crowd. "Is she watching us?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

" _Six! Five!"_

"So, uhh..." Lu looked around again, a tinge of pink coming to his cheeks before sheepishly looking at Balthazar. "Look, you've done more than enough-"

"It's okay if you don't want a kiss," the blonde chuckled, finding the shyness endearing, but being annoyed at the situation all the same. Damn his good looks to Hell. "I understand."

" _Four! Three!_ "

Lu awkwardly shrugged. "I'm fine with- I just don't want to put you on the spot, that's all. If you're not okay with it, that's okay. And, you know, with Eve and all..."

"I'm fine with it." Maybe he could at least get a parting kiss from the stranger, straight or not. "It would be convincing, after all. I just don't want you uncomfortable."

" _Two!"_

"I wouldn't be."

" _One!"_

The room erupted in a roar of applause and cheers as the new year rang in. Balthazar glanced around the room again, watching couples pair up and still spying Eve craning her neck to see them. He turned his attention back to the man in front of him and, before his brain could protest, leaned in to kiss him as if they've dated for years and he knew his lips like they belonged to his lover. Lu wasted no time in returning the kiss, even deepening it, snaking a hand to the back of the blonde's neck. For a mere moment, it was perfect.

And then it was over. Lu leaned away, looking quite shocked, before a smile sprung across his face and he broke down in into a fit of giggles. Balthazar quickly followed, watching his dance partner put a hand to his mouth and glance toward the tables. When the blonde glanced over, all he saw was Eve's back as she walked away. "It bloody worked!"

"Oh my God," Lu barked a laugh, holding on to Balthazar as if to keep himself steady. Finally, though, his breathing became a bit more under control. "Well," he spoke with a big grin and a few misplaced chuckles, "I guess you can consider that your treat for helping me tonight, unless you'd rather that drink now."

Another kiss would suffice. "I might need that drink, actually."

They dissolved into giggles again as the music slowly started back up. Lu straightened up and took Balthazar's hand, beginning to lead them back to the bar. "I hope Mike didn't see that, actually," he chuckled, "Talk about a lot to explain."

When the other glanced back to him, Balthazar gave a goodhearted smirk, but it fell when the man looked away again. Dammit. Just his luck.

* * *

 **Yep! Fake dating AU!**

 **I hope to come back to this one. I got a few things planned. Is Lu really straight? What's the deal with Eve? Is Balthazar going to start caring too much and reach the point of admiration that ends up being unrequited love and super angsty horrible crap that this author loves to write? We may never know, but we probs will.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	3. Sand

**There's only so much you can do with a prompt that's just Sand. I had considered going in a different direction like theSands Of Time or a 1950's AU (Mr. Sandman) or some sort of sleeping/insomnia thing (again, the Sandman), but this is the only idea I came up with that I could make a bit of a story out of. The other ideas are still great, though, but it's okay. I have a long list AU ideas for the future.**

* * *

Balthazar wasn't totally sure about this.

To be fair, he hadn't been sure about this since Friday morning when his Luce happily announced that, surprise, they were going on a vacation for the next week. Surprise, all expenses were paid for and everything was taken care of at their respective jobs. Surprise, they were going on a road trip to the beach in the middle of August. Surprise, Balthazar. Surprise.

Luce looked so happy and pleased with himself that Balthazar couldn't do anything but express his joy at the idea. And it certainly wasn't a _horrible_ idea. They could both use time away, even if his birthday was being used as the excuse. He just wasn't totally sure about it since it was sprung on him so suddenly. But Luce _loved_ it and had everything planned and was so excited, that he couldn't bring himself to voice his concern.

While his lover may have handled all of the expenses and such, he didn't exactly plan much ahead. Not that he seemed to ever have intentions to do so either. He said several times on the drive there that they were just going to do whatever they liked, whenever they liked, however they liked. "A true, blue vacation," he had said, "Nothing but relaxation for a whole week. You'll love it."

Balthazar was still skeptical, but the idea of getting away from work for an entire week sounded almost worth it.

That is, until day three when Lu decided to voice a kink they had quite shockingly yet to discuss. Kink was a bit of a strong word for it, though, Balthazar thought. It was more like... a preference... or a drunken fantasy. Either way, the blonde was extremely happy that the beach was currently vacant as Lu's hand went below the waist line of his trunks.

He _still_ wasn't entirely sure about this, no matter what those amazing fingers were getting up to down there. "Pardon? I want to make sure I heard you right."

"I said," Lu smirked, pulling their wet bodies together, his damp hair still dripping salt water over his face, "it would be really hot if I fucked you out here."

"I'm not sure I want sand stuck in that many places, Luce." But dammit, his voice was already rough from those wet fingers in his shorts. The only thing keeping him marginally sane was the occasional drag from a few grains of sand.

His Lu began to kiss under his jaw, and – curse him – Balthazar raised his head to give the other man more room to work with. "We could go in the water," the strawberry blonde suggested, but that was a terrible idea seeing as how _salt water_ wasn't known to be the best lubricant, "but I guess I could just suck you off, too... But you know that's not what I really want."

"Oh, I'm aware." What Lu wanted was exactly as he had suggested the first time. To fuck him right there in front of God, crabs, and vacationing families. Sex on the beach suddenly didn't seem like all it was cracked up to be, but try telling his Luce that. "If you get sand stuck up my ass, I'm leaving you."

Lu huffed a laugh and bit down on his lover's shoulder. Well, he couldn't deny that this whole situation was kind of hot, if not a bit worrying. The way they pressed together, moved against each other, the grains of sand scratching between them, the smell of the sea- Okay, sure, it was pretty fucking hot. "Ever had sex outside before?"

The blonde's mind stuttered for a moment. "Have you?"

His Luce laughed again. "It was just a question." The strawberry blonde's lips moved against Balthazar's skin, kissing and sucking where he wanted to. Meanwhile, the blonde was beginning to wonder if this show was going to get on the road or not, but his lover's shoulders deflated before that could be answered. "I think you're right. This isn't going to work, is it? Damn sand's everywhere."

He couldn't help it. The way Lu pouted down at Balthazar's chest, his attentions having stopped now that a look of sad contemplation went across his features- The blonde laughed at him. "We can try tomorrow, love," he reconciled between giggles, " _before_ we go out in that water. With towels and lube." His Luce gave him a little smile, probably a kin to an A for Effort sort of thing, but that wasn't what made this whole situation so hot. It _was_ the sand and water. It was everything that was making sex difficult right now. "Tell you what," Balthazar kissed the edge of his lips, "how about we go back out into the water for one last swim, and I can show you how long I can hold my breath."

That got a genuine dark smile from his lover. "I think I can settle for that."

"Just remember to let me come up for air once in a while," Balthazar kissed him again before leading them both back to the waves. "I hear drowning is a real mood killer for most people."

* * *

 **I wanted to write something different today, so I'm continuing these little one shots that I love so much. This almost went into the more awkward/hilarious route, but this is nice, too. Sorry it's short!**

 **Let me know what you think. And, if you have any AU ideas you want to see in the future, let me know. I have a long list, but more ideas can't hurt.**


	4. Salt

**Prompt was Salt. What kind of SPN fan would I be if this wasn't a Ghost AU?**

 **Before we begin, I'd just like to say that I am so sorry. Sort of. Trigger warning for fatal car accidents and some underhanded thoughts of suicide...**

* * *

Nothing had been the same for Lu since the wreck. It was like the world just kept going on in the background without him being a part of it. Everything just felt numb and cold now, a great contrast from when he lost his brother. When Michael had died when they were both eighteen, Lu was angry. Everything reminded him of his brother. He wanted to cry and scream and kill and die, and he hated existence for pretending like the life lost didn't matter.

But this was different. He _felt_ it back then. Now, ever since that day, he just felt nothing. Of course, he made a point to not really think about it. Lu never allowed himself to go back to that moment of noise and glass and blood. Never thought about how blue eyes looked at him with pain and fear, and certainly not how Lu told him it would be okay.

"You sure you're all right?" Gabriel sat on a bar stool beside the kitchen island, tie askew and dark blazer draped over the counter.

Lu thought the question to be pretty ridiculous, so he didn't bother answering or looking to his younger brother. He just made his way across the kitchen, keeping his own blazer jacket on in the much colder house, and grabbed two beers from the fridge. The only reason he didn't ask Gabriel if he wanted one was because he really just didn't feel like talking at all right now. Instead, he handed him the drink, still not really looking at him.

Gabe set his jaw and took the beer, finally deciding to bring up the blunt truth. "You didn't cry at all during the funeral."

"Should I have?" The strawberry blonde sat across from his brother, popping open his own drink. Funerals weren't exactly meant to be a party, sure, but he didn't realize that breaking down in front of everyone would have been expected. Maybe it would have helped others feel better. His mother-in-law certainly seemed to not know what to do with him when she walked up to him after the burial.

"... Yes."

Lu stared at the other man and took a long gulp of his drink, showing just how much he cared about everyone trying to baby him and acting sulky when they didn't get the chance.

But he could see their point, though. He certainly didn't think the way he was acting was in any way rational. It just-... There was nothing. Nothing until he went to bed at night in an empty house to cold sheets. No arms wrapped around him. No warmth pressed against him. There were no flashbacks or regretful thoughts. He would just start crying, crying until it turned into sobbing that wracked his entire body, and wouldn't stop until sleep took him in the early morning.

His job allowed- _made him_ take some more time from work, apparently for the weird way he had been acting lately. Without work, he fell into an almost normal schedule. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The news, the weather, recent TV shows. Reading, long walks, grocery shopping, and bills. He couldn't decide if it all happened yesterday or years ago, but it certainly didn't feel like just two weeks.

His new schedule didn't change with his bedtime habits, though. A few hours after night fell, he went to bed, simple as that. He couldn't go by how tired he felt anymore. He was always tired. Maybe it was the extra sense of privacy or just the familiar intimacy of the bed, but he cried every night so hard it pierced his chest and throbbed his head.

It took a few more days for him to realize it. How cold and hollow the house had become. The gray tones that the whole world had suddenly turned. His hoarse voice when forced to speak because he never spoke anymore. He realized it as he sat at his usual spot on the couch, watching the news and not even seeing it, realizing that he hadn't really been seeing anything, how the world just moved on without them both.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't keep going like this. He couldn't do this without him.

The realization didn't sweep over him as he expected it to. Instead, Lu moved forward to the edge of the couch and looked to the floor, trying to think this through. He wouldn't want him to give up, after all... Lu figured he could always move, sell the house, cut some strings, become a totally different person somewhere else and put this whole chapter to rest. Maybe if he acted like someone else, became someone else, he could feel something again. Something that didn't feel so empty and bleak.

But he couldn't do that. He couldn't leave. He couldn't sell their home. He couldn't leave him here all alone. But he couldn't keep doing things like this either. Something had to change, or Lu wouldn't make it one way or the other...

Gabriel tried to stop by once a day, and Lu tried to act like he was ignoring his little brother and that he didn't care whether he came by or not. Castiel sometimes stopped by, too, but Lu didn't care about seeing him. He always wanted to _talk_ , wanted to try and get through to him, dared to speak _his_ name in _their_ house, so he went ignored, too. His mother-in-law stopped by one more time, wanting to try speaking to him again. It didn't go much better, but at least he made eye contact and acknowledged her existence. She was probably the only person that understood a fraction of what he felt. That might have been why he didn't speak to her either.

"Don't stay like this," she told him as she hovered near the door. She had turned back to him as she began to leave, like it was an afterthought on her mind. "Seek help if you have to, but don't stay like this... He loved you so much, Lucifer. He would never want you to be this way."

"I can't do it." His words went unheard as he spoke to the ceiling, the crying having not set in just yet. It was too dark and cold to even consider the possibility of relaxing right now. Too lonely. Her words echoed through him. "I can't do this."

He _needed_ him. The loss was too much for him to bear. He couldn't do it without him. "I need you." Nothing answered, as if he expected something to actually do so. "I can't do this without you."

Movement caught his eye. The sight should have drawn a quick response from him, but he just lazily looked towards the door, as if he didn't care if a burglar was here or not. Really, he didn't. There was nothing they could take that he cared about anymore, even his own life if they turned out to be hostile. But nothing else moved in the doorway, so Lu slowly sat up for a reason he didn't entirely know of either. Maybe curiosity or procrastination of his new sleeping habits... but nothing else moved near the door.

Something did, however, comb through his hair. Just as slowly, Lu turned his head to look towards the other side of his bed, coming face to face with Balthazar. His lover, his husband, was far more pale than he had ever been before. His hair was like a platinum gray now, and his eyes were just dull. Then there were the wounds, the blood, still there like they had never left the car. His voice sounded like it was whispered through channels they shouldn't even be using. _"Hello, love."_

Words failed Lu, so he just looked at him instead. He knew that shock, fear, and suspicion should be some of the first things he felt right now, but at least he felt something at all. Maybe it wasn't the right shade, but the familiar eyes looking back at him made every feasible ache lift from his body, and he reached out a hand, somehow touching the cold skin of his husband's face.

He wanted to speak, for once, to say his name again, but Lu just leaned forward more and more until he was leaning against the other man, resting against him, letting himself be enveloped by him. _"I'm here, my love."_ The crying was back. Different this time, but Lu couldn't even place why. _"Shhh, Luce... I'll never leave again."_

Lu awoke in his room to the cold dark it always was now, but it suddenly didn't feel so empty anymore. Not with the chilling fingers trailing down his bare arm.

* * *

 **There's a LOT that could be done with this AU, oh boy. This is definitely one of those that's going to get a sequel down the road at some point.**

 **I'm sorry this is short, too, but at least you guys get two chaps today. I suppose that means I wrote a decent amount, right? Again, don't forget to rec me some AU's.**


	5. Clip

**This prompt is Clip! I thought it was Chip and wrote almost a whole ficlet about chips before I figured out that I was doing it wrong. You'll still get to read that, don't worry, but since I was a little lost on what to do for Clip (it was almost assassins stuff), I decided to FINALLY continue an old one.**

 **Since it's basically New Years, we're going back to Balthazar and Lucifer awkwardly pretending to be engaged in the second prompt. Enjoy!**

* * *

Balthazar had gone back to the Wolves' Den more times than he could count since New Years' Eve. Of course, it was entirely for the drinks and company, and had absolutely nothing to do with a strawberry blonde with cute glasses that had a obsessive ex. He didn't even think about Lu since then. Much.

Okay, so he was blissfully in denial, but even Balthazar could admit to himself that he would love to see that man again. He was of the firm belief that the pretty blonde was nothing but straight, and yet he just couldn't help breaking his own heart with guilty daydreams.

But after about a week, he gave up hope of seeing Lu again anytime soon. Maybe he finally got that crazy bitch off of his back by their little show, at least. It was all he could hope for until, at some impossible date, they finally ran into each other again.

On a cold day in mid-January, he finally got that chance while walking to his car after his shift. Rudy's Bar & Grill might have been a waiter's job, but it was pretty good money for someone with his accent. That aside, it was never really good when walking out of the building at 8 p.m. only to hear a rather loud argument around the corner. He wasn't exactly in the bad part of town, but he _did_ hear a woman's voice and, well, one could never be too sure...

Feeling a little awkward about it, Balthazar walked around to the front of the building, the only lights coming from the front door, the windows, and the red neon sign flickering in the night. Otherwise, he just hoped this wasn't about to be something violent... There were two men and the one woman...

"Going out with your brother?" the woman asked loudly, "Yeah, that's real cheap." She sounded pissed and annoyed. Not in any danger, though she also sounded like quite the bitch at first glance. Still, Balthazar didn't really care. He was tired and the shift did nothing good to his feet, but her voice sounded a bit familiar.

"Would you give it a rest? Jesus." That was one of the men... He sounded way too familiar.

Balthazar turned the corner to see the woman cross her arms and tap her feet. No, he definitely saw her before. "Where the hell is your fiancé, then, huh?"

"Fiancé?" One of the men, the one with dark hair, turned towards the other one. The other one...

The other one. Oh, lord, the other one. Lu stood there, stopped in his tracks from the questions, glaring holes into who Balthazar finally remembered as Eve. "Would you please just leave me alone, Eve?"

"Even your brother doesn't even know anything about that. Don't you find it a little odd, Michael?"

Balthazar was moving before his brain could tell his body that it may not be too great of an idea to interrupt now. But, dammit, he was doing it anyway. He had been looking for that particular mop of beautiful hair for a week.

The one called Michael was the first to look towards the stranger approaching the group. That's when Lu decided to do the same, breaking his glare with the woman, but nearly having his eyes bug out of his head at what was clearly Balthazar's impeccable timing.

His mouth also decided to speak without consulting with his brain. "Hell, Eve. We were hoping to keep it a bloody surprise, but thank you for going right on and ruining it."

Michael squinted at him, but said nothing as Lu easily took Balthazar's offered hand, yet his own shock was still clearly evident. Especially when Lu, in what was likely relief, rested his forehead against Balthazar's neck... A little close, but the blonde wasn't going to ever complain about such close contact from the beautiful man.

Eve shook her head, quickly walking away. "I still don't believe this bullshit."

"We'll send you a wedding invitation," Balthazar yelled to her back, "We'll have door prizes!"

That got Lu laughing, and the hot breath going down his neck was definitely a plus. With her gone and Michael squinting darts at him, Balthazar put an arm around Lu's shoulders and guided him to the front entrance of the restaurant. They walked in silence as he opened the door for them, not really bothering to see if the brother was actually following or not, before they were greeted at the door.

"Welcome to- Oh," Charlie looked up at her coworker, looking a little confused.

Balthazar merely smiled back to the girl. "Just give them a booth, Charlie." She blinked, nodded, and led the way to a clear table.

The redhead left without a word, so he led the man practically hanging on his arm to sit down, the brother taking a seat opposite him.

"I'll just-" Before he could finish his words, the cute strawberry blonde grabbed his hand.

"Sit." No please. No wait. No good to see you. A simple command that Balthazar followed far too promptly as he sat down beside Lu. The man next to him was still rubbing at his eyes in disbelief.

Balthazar looked to Michael, who was still squinting at him over steepled fingers. Eventually, as they stared at one another, the dark haired one finally asked, "Who are you?"

"His fiancé."

"Please stop," Lu sighed with a little laugh. Eventually, he cleared his throat. "I just can't- Honestly, I might end up marrying you after all this."

Well, that made his week. Not that he had a crush or anything because he didn't. "Not to disappoint you, darling, but I'm starting to doubt that matrimony is really going to deter your lady friend."

Lu groaned. "Don't. Just-" Then he sighed. "Balthazar," The blonde's heart totally did NOT skip a beat over the fact that his name was remembered, "this is my brother, Michael. Michael, this is that guy I met on New Years-"

"Oh, _that_ fiancé!" The brother's eyes lit up, a bit hyper and happy. "Oh my God."

"Yeah," Lu sighed, rubbing his face one more time just for effect. "By the way, man, how did you-... Like how did you just appear out of nowhere like that? Like-"

"I work here," Balthazar chuckled, "I was just getting off of my shift when I heard arguing in the parking lot and decided to take a look." He also didn't get a thrill over the fact that his brother already knew who he was.

Lu shifted his glasses to his forehead, pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes. "Thank you." Balthazar couldn't tell if he was thanking him or God. "Seriously, just-" He finally removed his hands so that the blonde could look into those brilliant blue eyes. "The second time she comes out of nowhere in over a year, and you saved me both times. Seriously, I'm grateful to you."

Balthazar chuckled. "Like my friend said, the entertainment value is reward enough."

In return, Lu just shook his head, "Let me buy you dinner."

Michael made a sound in the back of his throat that was almost a whine, but the blonde wouldn't have wanted to intrude on their night anyway. Besides that, he had been looking at these walls for the last ten hours. He was more than ready to leave... but if it was just the two of them, he probably would have stayed. Maybe. More than likely. God, it was hard to wave away the offer even now. Who could say when they would see each other again? "No, I won't put you on the spot, darling. Consider it my civil duty for the day."

"Not even take out?"

There goes that _just got off work_ excuse he was about to use. "Not even take out," he laughed.

At that moment, Michael (who definitely was not forgotten) jumped in. "She knows you're hosting that fund raiser at the park, Lu. She's definitely going to be there if she still has those doubts."

Ignoring the bit that Lu was frowning over, Balthazar blinked in surprise. "You're hosting a fund raiser?" Good God, he was perfect. _Fuck_ heterosexuality's natural cock block.

"Uh," seemingly shocked that was what Balthazar decided to latch on to, Lu rubbed his arm. The pink tinge to his nose was completely imagined, though. It had to be in this light. "Yeah, but it's really not a big deal. You know, just shits and giggles."

Balthazar laughed at the phrase while Lu cleared his throat.

Before he could ask further about this not a big deal event, Michael interrupted again after the small beat of silence. "We do know she's facebook stalking you."

Lu found his voice then. "Which is why I hardly use it anymore."

The brother shrugged. "Maybe you can update your status then, but with something kinda convincing, you know?"

"Do I?"

As fun as this sounded, Balthazar asked, "And what about the confusion that's bound to come about from those that aren't aware of this little arrangement?

Michael shrugged, "We can explain to them in person. Besides, I don't know who all you told that story to, Lu."

The blonde haired, blue eyed wonder made a sound between a grunt and a whine that had Balthazar shifting in place, trying to scream at his brain to please control the rest of him, please. "What are you suggesting, Mike?"

The brother shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe a video? Of course, if this is all right with you, Balthazar?"

"I'm up for anything to get that woman away," he answered back way too honestly.

Lu sighed but held enough of a smile for Balthazar to know this wasn't a complete inconvenience, "All right, but I'm not really sure what we're supposed to do..."

Michael already had his phone out. "Just look convincing," he chirped happily, leveling the phone up to his face, "I'll post it on mine and tag you in it, okay? You gotta repost it later."

Balthazar couldn't help his laugh, which somehow got Lu laughing, too. The strawberry blonde shook his head, "What's convincing?"

"Here," Balthazar took his hand on the table, which seemed to be easy enough for both of them.

Michael smiled but shook his head. "You'll have to do better than that. I'm supposed to be the third wheel here, remember?"

Lu laughed again, a too beautiful of a sound that the blonde wanted to hear again and again. "Mike..."

"Think quick. I'm about to press play."

Balthazar looked to him, gave his full attention to him, and the gorgeous man looked back with a little smile. For a split second, his eyes glanced down to Balthazar's lips before he turned away with another laugh and imagined color to his nose. Ah. He could do that.

"Aaaaand," they both looked to Michael, "Action!" He pressed record.

Balthazar turned back to Lu, still a bit distracted with his brother, and didn't waste a thought on leaning in to place a comical kiss to that beautiful man's cheek. He felt Lu's smile, heard his laugh, even as he slunk away, even as Balthazar followed him and didn't let go, even as the cheek grew warmer and a hand tightened on his. He could get used to this. Especially that laugh.

"That's a keeper," Michael chuckled as Balthazar pulled away, Lu adorably ducking his head and smiling back at him. He was going to be thinking about this encounter for weeks.

* * *

Lu watched on until Balthazar completely disappeared from his view after their goodbyes. Once he was finally gone, it was all he could do to shake his head. "Just shits and giggles... Why did I say that?"

His brother laughed, still fiddling with his phone as the video clip uploaded. "You didn't tell me about the accent."

"Shut up," Lu groaned, burying his hand in his face for the hundredth time that night. This whole thing was so embarrassing, but he'd do it again if it meant Balthazar would come back.

"You should have given him your number, Lu."

" _Shut up."_

"No, I won't shut up," he chuckled again, putting the phone down. "The guy is clearly into you. You should ask him out."

"He's not, trust me." But Lu laughed anyway at the idea of it. Sure, it _seemed like_ Balthazar was into him, but that was the point. To seem like it. "I've got some weird baggage things going on. I'm surprised he keeps swooping in to save me, honestly. He definitely didn't have to tonight."

"But he _did_. Ask him out."

"How, Sherlock?"

"You know where he works."

"Just shut up, man." He wasn't about to do that. He wasn't about to do _anything_ , actually, but Balthazar was so handsome and charming and sweet and his smile was so sincere. Before, he was just a nice memory. Now? God, he wouldn't be able to go to sleep tonight.

The redhead waitress showed back up. "Sorry for the wait. You guys looked, uh, busy..." She glanced to the back, then to them with a smile. "Can I get you something to drink?"

Michael beat him to it. "You can get us the number to the cute blonde guy with the accent."

"Stop!" Lu kicked him under the table, giggling like a school girl, before hiding his face again. "Beer. Please, all I want is a beer. Any kind. I don't even care."

"Stop being so shy," Mike lightly kicked him back, but Lu didn't look to him, just hid his face a little more away from the waitress. "Don't mind him. Get him a Corona. I'd just like a coke, please. And seriously, if it's not too creepy-"

" _Michael."_

* * *

As soon as she was out of sight from customers, Charlie broke out into a full tilt run through the kitchen, pass the office, and through the back door. _"Balthazar!"_ The blue sedan stopped as she ran out to the car.

The window rolled down, revealing her friend who just spent a rushed three minutes spilling his guts about the cute man who obviously had _no interest_ in him at all and wasn't it just a _complete shame_ that he was straight as a board. She ran to Balthazar's door and jumped in place. "They want your number! He wants your number!" She even still had the order for their drinks in her hand.

After a brief second, her friend blinked back and gave an impossibly huge smile. "Are you serious? Oh God."

"What do I do? What do you want me to do?"

"Okay, okay. Here-" He took her pen and pad of paper, quickly jotting down his number with a silent prayer.


	6. Bread

**So you heard about what happened with Chip and Clip. This is part of the result of "Chip" so I'm using for the prompt "Bread" instead. And now we have a Wedding!Au. Well, more of a domestic AU but there's a wedding involved. And Sabriel.**

* * *

"We are not bringing bloody bread to your brother's wedding."

"It's not just bread, though. It's banana nut bread. It's more expensive."

"We are not bringing bloody _banana nut bread_ to your brother's wedding!"

"Seriously? Like Gabe's going to put out all the stops for me one day. C'mon."

"It's a _wedding!_ You can't be the brother of the groom and bring a fucking loaf of _bread!_ "

"Why not? He won't care! Sam probably has the whole food thing covered any-"

"No! No. We're not doing this. I don't give a damn what they think about it. I am not going to be the fucking idiot who brings bread to a wedding. No."

"Technically, you're dating the-"

"I'm not doing it, Luce!"

"Well the damn thing's tomorrow! What else are we going to do?"

" _Fuck!_ Why'd you wait until the day before to tell me you were bringing fucking bread?"

"Because I was bringing fucking bread! It's not an issue!"

"It _is_ an issue!"

"Where are you going?"

"The _market!"_

"It's a _grocery store_ , not a _market!"_

" _Fuck you!"_

"..."

"..."

"... Let me get my jacket."

* * *

Balthazar was pissed. Like more pissed than usual.

At a certain standpoint, Lucifer could see and understand it, though. If some asshole ever walked up to the pair of them and asked who the girl was in the relationship, Lu would point to Balthazar without a second thought, who would no doubt be ridiculously offended at being labeled as simply _the girl_. That aside, his lover liked nice things. He liked to pamper himself. Which wasn't terribly girly, per se, but Lu knew deep down that if the two of them ever wanted to get hitched and some poor soul decided to bring banana nut bread to their reception, Balthazar would absolutely kill them in front of parents, guests, God, everyone.

Which was the only reason Lu stayed silent during the tense drive and walk around the _market_ for all of Balthazar's ingredients. The only reason he decided to go at all was to pay for all the damn stuff he was picking up, because if the blonde went alone, paid for everything, made everything, and brought it to the wedding tomorrow, it was going to be one hell of a weekend for him. Of course, his lover probably wouldn't let him help make whatever it is he needed so much sugar and fresh berries for, but at least this would lighten the blow a little bit. Hey, if Balthazar had enough wine tomorrow, maybe Lu would even get laid before the end of the week. Crazier things have happened.

So Lu more than happily paid for the sugar, eggs, mixed berries, whipping cream, cream of tartar, vanilla extract, and even _more_ sugar with a big smile on his face for the worried cashier. Granted, the poor girl was glancing between Lu smiling at her and Balthazar furiously picking at the egg carton in silence, so he couldn't blame much of the worry.

Once they were home, he decided to ask more than once if Balthazar needed help, partly because he really did want to help, but mostly just to annoy the shit out of the man.

"It's really just a one person job, Luce. Stop asking," the blonde responded as he whisked some eggs in a bowl and had been doing so for about two minutes now.

Lu wasn't sure if he was actually doing something or just finally cracked. It was bound to happen eventually. "What are you making, anyway?"

"Something that would be presentable for a wedding," Balthazar quietly snapped back, but seemed to give a sigh. It was probably more so because he knew Lu wouldn't take the bait for another fight than it was to try smoothing over the tension. "I'm making bird's nests."

Lu waited quietly for an explanation that didn't seem like it was coming anytime soon. Just to pick that much more, he asked, "What's a bird's nest?"

"You'll see," was the answer he got in return. Somehow, he felt like that was the only answer he was going to get. Balthazar probably thought that would get the other man off of his back, but haha, Lu was a little worse of a boyfriend than that. He just had to wait and see, so he decided to literally _wait and see_ , as in hovering over and around his still very prickly lover as the other man busied away with what looked like was baking.

Course, he was awfully curious. Whatever was in the oven apparently had to be in there a while, and it was piped out in cute little nest shapes, but the thing had no flour in it at all. Sure, cooking, especially baking, was more of Balthazar's expertise, but Lu was pretty sure that they just forgot the flour at the _market_ and the blonde was too pissed off to give a shit anymore.

"What are you doing now?"

"This is the filling."

"For the bird's nest?"

"Hmm."

If there was any hope in getting laid or even so much as getting a cuddle tonight, that was dashed to hell. Somehow, Balthazar seemed to take personal offense at his banana nut bread... But, fuck, he knew the blonde loved that kind of bread, especially with his morning coffee. Why the hell-

No. No, he wasn't going to bite the bait and get angry, too. Just knowing that it pissed off Balthazar all the more while Lu stayed cool as a cucumber was enough so he could handle not raising his blood pressure for a time.

Instead, he waited until after two damn hours (It took over an hour for the damn things to cook and the rest of the time went to them cooling off.) before Balthazar deemed his creation more or less done. "I'll have to add the filling before they're served, but the meringues are done," he sort of explained in a gruff manner.

Still, Lu watched as his lover filled another small piping bag and took two of the meringues aside, filling them with the cream he made and placing a few berries on each. He then put the little dainty things on separate plates and shoved one into Lu's stomach. "Eat it now so I don't find you scrounging through them at ass o'clock tonight," the blonde grumbled, grabbing his own plate and walking pass him towards the living room.

Well, maybe getting laid by the end of the week wasn't such a far fetched dream after all. "I love you, too, honey bunch."

"Don't talk to me."

* * *

 **Google "Bird's Nest Meringues" if you please. I love meringues so much.**


End file.
